Can you do me a favor?

I know: What have I done for you lately? Nothing. And that’s not likely to change anytime soon. Not without your help!

A few months ago, I got so sick of only answering my wife’s questions incorrectly that I wanted to open my idiocy up to the rest of the world. So I started an advice column called “Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed!” because I have a thing for making irrelevant movie references.

Unfortunately, my advice was either so perfect that everyone’s problems were solved, or it was so terrible that no one else wanted to ask me anything. But I forgive you. And I’m giving you another chance.

So if you need guidance – on parenting, relationships, drinking, personal hygiene, what books to read or how to make irrelevant movie references – let me drive. I won’t make a fool out of you.

And I’ll do my best not to destroy your life.

Read previous installments of my advice here.

And submit your questions below!