I’m not going to say that trying to forge good relationships with your kids, even being pals with them, is detrimental. I don’t believe it is unless it goes off the rails, the lines get blurred, and you start buying them beer and throwing them sex parties.
Call me crazy, but I’m gonna give most parents the benefit of the doubt that we’re going to prioritize being parents over being pals, and that we’re not going to act like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls just to feel cool.
Still, we may be overestimating ourselves a bit. Maybe the question isn’t whether you should be friends with your kids, maybe it’s whether you can actually stay friends with them.
One of the stereotypical perks of parenthood is the ability to experience life anew, through your children’s innocent eyes. And it’s true, but only if you embrace it.
Watching them grow up needn’t only be about their future, it can be about their present too, and yours. Wouldn’t you much rather let them enjoy it, and enjoy it with them (it’s a lot more fun to play with your kids when they still want to play with you), than keep them at arm’s length in some sad attempt at being The Great Santini? I know which side I’m on.
I constantly tell my son he’s my best friend. He usually dismisses me, condescendingly, like the cold-blooded sociopath he is, but I’m not deterred. I’m always calling him things like “bud” and “pal,” not because he truly is my best friend (Kid can’t even buy beer! And god forbid I try to vent a little about Mom and Buried because he is NOT having it!), but because I want him to know that not only do I love him, I also like him. I enjoy being with him, hanging out with him, and generally spending time with him.
And yeah, I want him to enjoy hanging out with me too! I want him to think of me as more than just the tall guy who puts him in time-out all the time. It’s important to me that he considers me a friend, someone he can have fun with, but also that he sees me as someone he can talk to, honestly, and openly. Not so much right now, because I could really do without the play-by-play from the latest episode of “Rescuebots,” but later. When he’s older and he has real issues, besides worrying which toy to take to show and tell.
If I don’t lay the groundwork when he’s young, if I don’t let him know now that he can count on me in good times and bad, not just as his dad but also as his bud, I’ll be screwed later. At four, he’s still impressionable; he thinks Daddy is infallible, invincible, and omniscient. I need to take advantage of that before it’s too late! Because I’m no fool, I know the worm will eventually turn. It’s biology; there’s no getting around it.
Despite all the good times I had with my parents when they truly were my best friends, when we did everything together and I was with them all the time and there was no one I counted on more, the encroaching tides of adolescence and independence couldn’t help but change things.
Looking back at how unbearable I was during my teen years, I can’t help but think of that great Justified quote, “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” Knowing how hard it was to control my behavior and my moods and my generally shitty attitude with all those hormones rollicking around inside me makes me wonder: with the teenage years always on the horizon, how far does the buddy approach really get us?
Because no matter how close we get, no matter how much we pal around today, tomorrow, for the next five-plus years, it will all come to a screeching halt somewhere around, say, his thirteenth birthday. It’s a lot harder to be friends with someone when you have to try to control their behavior, whether it’s for their own good or not, especially when they don’t even know what’s best for them. We’re going to butt heads. Not only because his hormones will make him an asshole, but because his inevitable attempts to assert independence will force me to be one too. No one stays friends with an asshole.
So does that make early attempts at forging a friendship with your kids pointless? I don’t think so. You may not be friends with your kids forever, but opting out of being friends at all is a much bigger fail.
There will be dry spells. There will be periods of time when your parent-side has to take precedence, and times when your kid won’t be able to see past that. And those times won’t be fun. But that’s no reason not to embrace a positive, playful relationship with them now. To lay a foundation.
A foundation that’s strong enough to withstand the typical sturm und drang of high school and puberty. Are you going to be friends forever? No. But a fun, honest, balanced relationship early can be just what you need to weather the inevitable growing pains later.
So that when the clouds do come, when My Buddy turns into Chucky, you can take solace in the friendship you used to have, and be confident that the storm will eventually pass and you can be friends again. It’s usually once the kid has grown up and gained some perspective, i.e., once his head is finally out of his ass! Which will probably be somewhere between 21 and 28.
It really helps when you can have a drink together.
Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.
Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.
This sensation can be deeply satisfying and encourages players to attempt levels repeatedly just to experience
A word-guessing game with a culinary theme is called Foodle. Your companion must be able to guess what the food is based on your description, not on hints.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!
Backbiome is an advanced daily wellness supplement formulated to help support spinal comfort, reduce feelings of built-up tension, and promote freer, smoother movement throughout backbiome everyday life.
Boostaro is a modern men’s wellness boostaro formula created to support daily vitality, stamina, and confidence through a practical, natural routine.
While searching for anything else online, I came across your post Skribbl IO.
Don’t let the baby’s tiny appearance fool you! Experience The Baby in Yellow to face heart-stopping scares and unravel the chilling mystery hidden beneath the facade of a “little angel.”
Kids change fast — one minute they’re into RescueBots, the next they’re shutting you out completely. It helps to have simple ways to reconnect, like sharing a laugh over something silly together. Something like poople game can surprise you both with how much fun you actually have.
This is such a thought-provoking post! I love how you tackle the idea of being friends with your kids without falling into the “cool parent” stereotype. It really resonates with me, especially the part about enjoying the present with them. Finding that balance between parenting and friendship is key. It reminds me of the precision needed when using a BA II Plus Financial Calculator for complex calculations – every variable matters!
This is such a thought-provoking post! I love how you tackle the nuanced idea of being “friends” with your kids without blurring essential lines. It’s so true that embracing their present and enjoying that journey with them is far more rewarding than keeping them at arm’s length. Your humor about your son being a “cold-blooded sociopath” is priceless and completely relatable to any parent. Thanks for sharing these insights on Block Poster!
This is such a relatable and insightful take on parenting! I especially resonate with the idea that experiencing life anew through our children’s eyes is a true perk, and that embracing it makes the journey so much more enjoyable. It’s a fine line between parent and pal, and you articulate that perfectly. It really makes you think about those precious moments. Thanks for sharing this perspective! I’ve been looking for something like Square Feet Calculator recently.
This is such a thought-provoking piece! I love how you tackle the nuanced line between being a parent and being a friend. It’s so true that while we want to foster strong relationships, maintaining that parental authority is key, without turning into an Amy Poehler caricature. The idea of truly experiencing life anew through our children’s eyes, and enjoying their present with them, really resonated with me. It’s a beautiful reminder to cherish those moments while they still want to play with us. Thanks for sharing your honest perspective! Your blog provides such great insights, it’s like finding a gem, similar to how I appreciate tools like Image to Line for their clarity and usefulness.
This is such a refreshing take on the parent-child relationship! I love how you distinguish between being a friend and being a cool parent trying too hard. It really boils down to embracing the present and enjoying life with them, rather than just observing from a distance. Calling your son your best friend, even if he dismisses it, totally resonates with me; it’s about the connection we’re building. It’s truly a joy to see how you value that playful connection, perhaps even transforming those everyday moments into something memorable, much like how a Text To Cartoon Video can turn a simple story into a vibrant animation.
This is such a refreshing take on an age-old parenting dilemma! I love how you highlight the importance of embracing the present with our kids and not just focusing on their future. It’s true that the lines can blur, but prioritizing being a parent while still aiming for a friendly connection feels like the sweet spot. Thanks for sharing your perspective, it really made me think about how I want to build relationships with my own children, and maybe even sparked some ideas on how to approach financial planning for their future with a good Savings Calculator. Great read!
This is such a thought-provoking piece, Dad and Buried! You’ve really hit on a nuanced topic that many parents grapple with. The distinction you make between “parents” and “pals” is crucial, and I appreciate your realistic take on how easy it can be to blur those lines. It’s so true that experiencing life through our children’s eyes is a gift we should embrace, and finding that balance is key. Thanks for sharing your insights, it’s a wonderful read for any parent trying to navigate this complex relationship! It’s almost as intricate as calculating the perfect layout, for which I might use a square feet calculator.
This article really resonated with me! It beautifully captures the nuanced balance between being a parent and wanting to connect with your kids on a friend-like level. The line “Maybe the question isn’t whether you should be friends with your kids, maybe it’s whether you can actually stay friends with them” is particularly thought-provoking. Enjoying the present with them, as you suggest, is truly priceless. It makes me think about all the amazing memories we’re creating, much like how a great Text To Cartoon Video can capture a moment forever.
This is such a refreshing take on the “friends with your kids” debate! I love your point about the actual question being whether we *can* stay friends with them. It really shifts the perspective from a strict rulebook to a more fluid, relationship-focused approach. Embracing their present, not just their future, is key – that’s something I often remind myself of, and it certainly makes those early years more enjoyable for everyone involved. Sometimes navigating these relationships feels as complex as understanding an intricate financial model, where a handy TVM Calculator might help you see the long-term value! Thanks for sharing this insightful and relatable post!
This is such a thought-provoking post! I love your take on the “friends with your kids” dilemma – it’s so true that the lines can easily blur, but the core idea of embracing their present is beautifully put. Enjoying those moments when they *still* want to play with you is priceless, and frankly, a much better investment than any Savings Calculator can track! It’s a reminder to cherish the journey.