26 Sep

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 13 comments

How To Explain Trump To Kids

My six-year-old won’t be watching the first presidential debate tonight because a) he’s six and b) he doesn’t need to hear the terrible things people will say during the debate, and by “people” I mean me and by “terrible things” I mean the filthy words I will be yelling at the screen every time Trump speaks.

In a perfect world, Donald Trump will get crushed in November and retreat back to one of his gross hotels, never to be seen again except all the time everywhere because he is a craven opportunist with absolutely no shame and the media worships him. But that’s fine, he can have his TV appearances, so long as I never have to explain to my kids why a misogynistic bigot is President of the United States.

But it’s possible, and in order to be prepared for that possibility, I’ve begun trying to think of ways to explain President Trump in terms my six-year-old can understand.

07 Sep

Dad and Buried Posted in SERIOUS! 13 comments

I Say No Too Much

My name is Dad and Buried, and I’m a No-aholic.

I tell Detective Munch “no” too much, I say “stop” too much, and I scold him too much, and I bark at him too much. Basically, I’m one big buzzkill for a normal five-year-old kid with energy to burn and a small space in which to burn it.

It’s no wonder he prefers Mom and Buried.

Parents Are Always Scared

As you may know, my son has a bad tree nut allergy. This means we need an epipen, and epipens recently increased in price by something like 400 percent. Even that scumbag Martin Shkreli is appalled. (That’s not even a joke; he really is.) The one time my son required the use of his epipen, we hesitated, unsure if it was necessary, and didn’t use it. He’s okay, but it was scary. (Turns out we should have used it, and we’d dodged a bullet.)

His allergy is scary. Needing an epipen is scary. The fact that we’ll probably be faced with that exact scenario again some day is scary. But what else is new? Everything about parenting is scary.

I’m always scared, and I bet you are too.

09 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in SERIOUS! 13 comments

Love Trumps Hate

The other day, I was whining to my son (turnabout is fair play!) about having to watch the “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” again. It’s become his entertainment of choice, and I hate it. I HATE IT. So I told him that if he keeps liking it, we can’t be friends.

And then he schooled me: “Dad, we can still be friends even if we don’t like the same things.”

Stupid kids and their innocent wisdom making me feel dumb. Too bad he’s wrong.

Politics Impacts Parenting

Last week, I shared a goofy post comparing kids to politicians. I didn’t take a side, at least not one that isn’t anti-kids or anti-politicians, but I did attach an old e-card to the post that took aim at Republicans.

Which turned out to be unfortunate – but not because I am a Republican. (When it comes to party affiliation, I have none; I’m registered as an independent, although I am pretty staunchly liberal.) It’s unfortunate because many people who saw the e-card couldn’t see anything else and quickly got mad at me for mocking the GOP.

But they mostly got upset that I was discussing politics on my Facebook page and on my website. Apparently, politics doesn’t have a place on a humor page or a parenting page.

Yeah. That’s bullshit.

Dad and Buried

Category: SERIOUS!

How To Explain Trump To Kids

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I Say No Too Much

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Parents Are Always Scared

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