03 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in stress No comments

Tinder for Parents

Back when I was single, the internet barely existed.

Social media certainly wasn’t a thing yet; I graduated college before Facebook even launched. And online dating? It was something only the most desperate, undesirable people did to find love.

The fact that I met Mom and Buried through the internet used to inspire chuckles. If it happened today, no one would even blink. Of course, today, if I were looking for someone via an online service, it wouldn’t be for a romantic dinner. It would be for some parenting backup!

I wonder what Tinder for parents would look like?

[E-card] Weekend Parenting

My weekends used to be sacred. Then I had a kid, and they became his weekends.

Suddenly, every weekend is packed with activities, and play dates, and birthday parties. I have to take my kid to all of them, which leaves hardly any time for bars! But that doesn’t mean I don’t find ways to relax.

I’m usually a pretty attentive father, but weekend parenting requires a slightly different approach.

20 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs One comment

The Chart of Diminishing Returns

Kids have an endless capacity for repetition.

I dare you to count how many times yours say “no” or “why” over the course of an afternoon, or how often they want to watch another episode of “Octonauts” or “Rescue Bots”. Sometimes even the same episode!

Children just don’t seem to get sick of things. Parents, on the other hand…

13 May

Dad and Buried Posted in ECard No comments

[E-card] Bite Club

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The first rule of Bite Club is you never stop talking about Bite Club.

Seriously, if someone bites you, scream bloody murder and alert everyone in your vicinity! Biting is NOT acceptable, even if you’re just a toddler.

Because I don’t care if you’re Batman: getting bit HURTS.

Inflategate

Is there anything more enticing to kids than a bouncy house?

Is there anything more nerve-wracking for parents than a bouncy house?

Most of these unregulated party props serve as manic mosh pits full of kids ranging from toddler to teen, and every one of them leaves their brain outside along with their sneakers. The only thing worse than the maelstrom that ensues should you try to prevent your kid from setting foot inside one of those things (forget Deflategate, Inflategate is REAL!) is the heart attack that ensues while you watch them navigate the bouncy box of doom.

Some holes just weren’t meant to be squeezed through, whether you’re wearing shoes or not!

(Allow me to apologize IMMEDIATELY for that imagery.)

Dad and Buried

Category: Wordless Wednesday

Tinder for Parents

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[E-card] Weekend Parenting

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The Chart of Diminishing Returns

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[E-card] Bite Club

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Inflategate

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