15 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning One comment

The Truth Hurts

“If you want the unvarnished truth, ask a child.”

So the saying goes, and it’s true. In fact, you don’t even have to bother asking. A child will come up to you, unprompted, and lay you bare in an instant, without a second thought, without even bothering to look back at the mound of ash left in his wake.

Why is honesty a virtue again? I don’t want my kid to be a liar, but a little bit of tact wouldn’t kill anybody. (Especially me. I’m really fragile right now.)

Should You Be Friends With Your Kids?

I’m not going to say that trying to forge good relationships with your kids, even being pals with them, is detrimental. I don’t believe it is unless it goes off the rails, the lines get blurred, and you start buying them beer and throwing them sex parties.

Call me crazy, but I’m gonna give most parents the benefit of the doubt that we’re going to prioritize being parents over being pals, and that we’re not going to act like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls just to feel cool.

Still, we may be overestimating ourselves a bit. Maybe the question isn’t whether you should be friends with your kids, maybe it’s whether you can actually stay friends with them.

13 May

Dad and Buried Posted in ECard No comments

[E-card] Bite Club

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The first rule of Bite Club is you never stop talking about Bite Club.

Seriously, if someone bites you, scream bloody murder and alert everyone in your vicinity! Biting is NOT acceptable, even if you’re just a toddler.

Because I don’t care if you’re Batman: getting bit HURTS.

The Great Mother’s Day Gift Discrepancy

Everyone knows children get special treatment. We whine and complain about how annoying they are, frustrating they are, how stressful they are, and then when they actually do something worthy of punishment? We treat them more leniently than the NFL treats the Patriots.

We’re so blinded by stupid unconditional love that we give our kids more free passes than CVS gives coupons. Never is this glaring inequality more prominent than around the holidays.

Mother’s Day gifts are the perfect example.

06 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Health One comment

Inflategate

Is there anything more enticing to kids than a bouncy house?

Is there anything more nerve-wracking for parents than a bouncy house?

Most of these unregulated party props serve as manic mosh pits full of kids ranging from toddler to teen, and every one of them leaves their brain outside along with their sneakers. The only thing worse than the maelstrom that ensues should you try to prevent your kid from setting foot inside one of those things (forget Deflategate, Inflategate is REAL!) is the heart attack that ensues while you watch them navigate the bouncy box of doom.

Some holes just weren’t meant to be squeezed through, whether you’re wearing shoes or not!

(Allow me to apologize IMMEDIATELY for that imagery.)

Dad and Buried

The Truth Hurts

Like this:

Should You Be Friends With Your Kids?

Like this:

[E-card] Bite Club

Like this:

The Great Mother’s Day Gift Discrepancy

Like this:

Inflategate

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: