When Trolls Attack!

When Trolls Attack!

My son loves the movie Trolls. At first I thought he was trolling me by pretending to love it, but nope. He really does.

Anyway, I love trolls too, just not the ones in that movie. (Although I may be protesting a bit too much; it’s not that bad. It’s certainly not as bad as my son’s other favorite musical troll movie, Strange Magic!) My favorite trolls are the ones who come to my blog and social pages to accuse me of being a terrible parent who hates his kids.

First of all, if that’s all you got, you need to step your game up. A good 50% of my own material concerns how much I hate my kids. Do better!

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In Praise of Screen Time

In Praise of Screen Time

As delightful as parenting can be (stay with me here), as rewarding a journey, as enjoyable an experience, there are downsides.

Shocking, I know. Who’d have thought that dedicating the lion’s share of your life to preparing other, dumber, younger people to live their own lives would occasionally be a drag? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it is. Not all the time, but a fair amount of the time. Maybe even more than it isn’t. Of course, the peaks always outperform the valleys, and even if there are fewer of them, they still matter more and linger longer.

The key is surviving the valleys. And that’s not always easy. But you know what? It’s easier now than ever before! Because technology.

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Bad Behavior May Pay Off!

Bad Behavior May Pay Off!

One of the great lies that many parents tell themselves is that their kid is perfect.

You know how it is — they’re your little angel and can do no wrong. They’re the cutest baby in the world, and you’re pretty certain they started walking and talking before everyone else’s baby because they’re so smart. Bow down before the greatest child who has ever lived!

This delusion gets harder to maintain as your child gets older and the things they can — and do — do wrong start piling up. Luckily, there’s a chance their insufferable behavior will set them up for success!

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How To Use Your Kids To Win Valentine’s Day

How To Use Your Kids To Win Valentine’s Day

The other day, my wife told Detective Munch that he was her favorite person on earth. I was sitting RIGHT THERE.

I get it; it comes with the parenting territory. He’s my favorite person too, give or take his baby brother. But it can be a little frustrating when your spouse prefers to spend more time with your kids than with you, but that’s not all bad either. In fact, I realized shortly after Mom and Buried so brazenly announced her preference in my presence that my son is actually doing me a favor.

Thanks to him, I‘m feeling a lot less pressure! Especially when it comes to holidays like Valentine’s Day. Kids can sometimes put a damper on romance, but I’ve discovered how to use them to my advantage!

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The Bedtime Battle

The Bedtime Battle

No kid likes going to bed.

My 6-year-old could be in the middle of getting waterboarded and he’d rather stick that out than have to brush his teeth and go to his room. As such, he’s become a master at putting it off, and at turning every bedtime into a battle.

Every night, when bedtime approaches, he suddenly becomes possessed with the need to do things. Anything. EVERYTHING.

Unfortunately, this includes making Daddy angry.

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