03 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 20 comments

Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Parents aren’t special. Having children doesn’t make you a hero. To paraphrase Furious Styles, any fool can make a baby, it takes a real parent to raise kids.

It also takes a real parent to think horrifying thoughts about their kids. And if that’s the primary criterion by which parenting is measured, I’m pretty sure I’m the world’s greatest dad. Because I’m a horrible person!

For proof, witness this list of terrible thoughts only parents have, and that it’s possible only this parent has, because I’m deranged. But that’s why you love me!

26 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Eating No comments

The Pizza Solution

As a parent, pizza plays a big role in my life.

Every weekend, we have a movie night with my picky five-year-old, and we watch a movie of his choice (please choose Star Wars, please choose Star Wars!) and eat some pie. Already, pizza is being connected to some of his favorite nights, and that’s a good thing.

Many of my childhood memories of food are negative, due to my parents’ unrelenting insistence on making me eat vegetables I despised. But there are a few positive associations, and many of them involve pizza. I mean, how can you have a bad time when pizza is involved?

Please, allow me to feed your #pizzastalgia with this heartwarming story from my youth…

Inspirational Movies

My son is in is second year playing little league.

If you’ve ever seen five-year-olds on a baseball field, then you know that I use the word “playing” very loosely. There’s less crying this year, but there’s also less paying attention. Most of Detective Munch’s time in the field is spent sitting on the grass or playing with sticks and dirt.

Despite the fact that he enjoys being up to bat, he’s already expressed his reluctance to attend some of his games. So over the weekend, in an effort to get him motivated to play, I decided to pull out some inspirational movies.

Read more about Inspirational Movies …

16 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Movies 6 comments

Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

I used to go to 100-plus movies a year. Then I became a parent.

Last week, I saw a movie in the theater for the first time in a while. An adult movie. (Well, it was a superhero movie, so “adult” may be a stretch. But it’s not exactly for five-year-olds either. A guy gets shot in the head, point-blank. I think my kid can wait a few years to see that.) It’s a rare occurrence these days.

I’m just not going to spend 100 bucks on a babysitter so I can go sit in a dark room and not talk to my wife. If I’m spending 100 bucks on a babysitter, I’m gonna go sit in a candlelit room and silently stare at my wife while we guzzle overpriced booze. So the only time I see movies is when I take my kid, and that’s not the same.

Because taking kids to the movies sucks.

13 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 3 comments

I Don’t Mind the Sibling Age Gap

As of this morning, I’ve been a parent of two children for four months and one day. Thanks to the five-year separation in their ages, it doesn’t always feel like it.

When Mom and Buried and I decided to have another kid, we worried about the bigger-than-desired age gap, but so far, it’s making things easier for us. So much so that I sometimes forget I have two kids!

I don’t mind the sibling age gap.

Dad and Buried

Tag: entertainment

Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

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The Pizza Solution

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Inspirational Movies

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Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

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I Don’t Mind the Sibling Age Gap

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