22 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs 4 comments

The Parental Exercise Equivalency Chart

It’s not always easy to make exercise a part of your life, especially as you get older and other things take priority, like drinking, and not exercising.

But having kids is no excuse. Not because it’s easy to squeeze in the gym when you have parental duties, but because we parents actually get a ton of exercise without even needing a gym membership. Especially when our kids our younger.

It turns out that a lot of the stuff I would do at the gym, I’m already doing at home. Take a look at my parental exercise equivalency chart to find out if you are too.

17 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 4 comments

The Guide to Hungover Parenting

Last night, we had our neighbors over for a few drinks. Somewhere between my third and fourth beer, I forgot that I have a kid and a job and am thirty-eight, so I had three or four more beers. Now I want to die.

Thankfully, today is Friday, so I’m at work instead of sitting at home trying to occupy a four-year-old who wants me to pretend to be a firetruck-slash-dinosaur and get on my knees and chase him around the house all while holding my head and trying not to throw up.

Hungover parenting is not a lot of fun.

01 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 2 comments

How to Prank Your Kids on April Fools Day

April Fools’ Day is idiotic.

For one thing, most people – in desperate attempts to join in but without the wherewithal or imagination to do something elaborate enough to be deemed an actual prank – just end up lying instead, which isn’t exactly an April 1st phenomenon. After all, you don’t need to prep for that, or wait for the perfect date; all you need to tell a lie is a functioning mouth and low morals!

Besides, actually formalizing and setting aside a day for pranking people defeats the entire purpose; even the least skeptical person on earth cloaks themselves in disbelief on April 1st, preferring to play it safe than be played for a fool.

These days, about the only people you can get away with fooling on April Fools’ Day are little kids. And I happen to have one of those, so let’s get on with it.

25 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Health No comments

[LINK] My Son, Road House, and Band-Aids

My son has a Band-Aid fetish. (Don’t get weird; he’s four.) The dude loves wearing Band-Aids. For any reason. For no reason. FOR ALL REASONS. (It is weird, just not in that way, pervert.) Here are the top five “reasons” he’ll ask for a Band-Aid: Because Boo-boo! Actual bleeding There’s a chance at some pointRead more about [LINK] My Son, Road House, and Band-Aids[…]

24 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 18 comments

The Sad Reality of the Tired Parent

Most of the stuff people tell you about having a baby? Total garbage.

It’s either too much or too little, too intense or too laid back, too judgy or too deadbeat, too scary or not scary enough. And all of it – every single bit – is refracted through each “helpful” person’s own prism, informed by their own experiences and their own specific circumstances, all of which are unique and personal when it comes to even the most generic of tasks, and so esoteric as to be meaningless when it comes to raising children.

But the stuff about losing sleep and being tired? That’s some solid gold truth.

Dad and Buried

Tag: health

The Parental Exercise Equivalency Chart

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The Guide to Hungover Parenting

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How to Prank Your Kids on April Fools Day

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[LINK] My Son, Road House, and Band-Aids

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The Sad Reality of the Tired Parent

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