Tag: humor

Why Texting is Better Than Calling
20 Sep
Posted in Digression One comment

Why Texting is Better Than Calling

I hate talking on the phone. I hate it so much that if we are in the middle of a conversation via text, and then you call me, I will ignore the phone and continue texting you.

First of all, talking on the phone is the literal worst. Second of all, whether you respond to an email with a phone call, respond to a text with a email, or respond to a phone call with a text, changing mediums MID-CONVERSATION is the height of rudeness!

Well, actually calling someone is the height of rudeness, but switching mediums midstream is a close second! Anyway, here are three scenarios illustrating why texting is better than calling.

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Underrated Milestones
13 Sep
Posted in Uncategorized 4 comments

Underrated Milestones

My second kid turned eight months old yesterday. He has a few teeth, we’ve started easing him into baby food (with disastrous results), and he’s looking to crawl any minute, which is going to severely complicate my life and increase my stress level.

Meanwhile, the original kid started first grade last week. He is about to lose a few teeth, tried oysters for the first time over the summer (loved them!), and, most significantly, is dangerously close to being able to read the channel guide, thus preventing me from lying about his shows not being on.

This is all very momentous, obviously, but when do my kids’ developmental milestones start benefiting me?

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The Death of Cool Dad
09 Sep
Posted in Uncategorized 13 comments

The Death of Cool Dad

Today, I turn 40.

This used to be a big deal. It used to mean middle age. But I’m not really sweating it. Sure, there are some things I’m disappointed I haven’t accomplished yet (*coughMYBOOKcough*) but 40 is the new 30, so I still have some time.

But there is one thing that bums me out about today’s milestone.

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Beer Goggles
02 Sep
Posted in sponsored No comments

Beer Goggles


There comes a time in every parent’s life when they realize they have to sacrifice their dreams to help their children achieve theirs. If you’re lucky, your dreams overlap.

I never imagined such luck was in store for me, and then I learned about an amazing new gig. It’s kind of my dream job.

Now all I have to do is force my son to dream it too.

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What’s in a Nickname?
31 Aug
Posted in Babies 21 comments

What’s in a Nickname?

Like many parenting bloggers, I use nicknames when I write about my kids.

I employ these nicknames in a half-hearted attempt to protect the privacy of children that I already wholeheartedly exploit every single day. (And it would be even more wholehearted if someone would actually pay me to exploit them! My door is always open.

As you probably already know, when writing about them online, I refer to my five-year-old (he’ll be six in two weeks!) as Detective Munch and I refer to my baby as The Hammer. I get asked about the origins of those names fairly frequently, but I don’t think I’ve ever explained them (on my blog). So if you’re curious, today’s your lucky day.

But there’s a catch. I need your help!

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