08 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice One comment

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

I have two kids now. I’ve never been more of an expert on what it takes to be exhausted and annoyed 24/7.

Which makes today the perfect time for another round of my unprofessional, ill-considered, potentially criminal parenting advice! (Check out all of the previous installments.)

And I actually got a handful of solid questions! Too solid, really. It was a struggle to make fun of them! It’s almost like you people are starting to take me seriously. STOP IT.

07 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in marriage One comment

Don’t Put Up, Shut Up

Yesterday was #WomanCrushWednesday, the one day a week when Instagram users are allowed to share a photo of a woman they want to have sex with. (I don’t actually know the official premise of the stupid theme.) I shared a photo of Mom and Buried, been there, done that! YEAH BOYEEEEEEEEE!

I chose a picture in which she looks really pretty, she’s clearly very happy, and is doing something mom-related because I’m nothing if not consistently ON BRAND. I also chose a picture in which her face is partially obscured, because a little anonymity is good and also it’s hilarious to constantly obscure her face. (Did you see the birthday pic I posted?)

She may not think it’s hilarious, but she knows who she married. She’s used to putting up with me.

Read more about Don’t Put Up, Shut Up …

30 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs No comments

The Five Stages of Throwing a Fit

Kids aren’t good at very many things, but they are good at going berserk on their parents for no reason.

After a while, you get used to their antics, and learn enough about their irrational ways that you can properly anticipate, and safely weather, one of their outbursts.

If you’re not yet schooled in the five stages of throwing a fit, don’t worry. I’m here to help.

28 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 6 comments

Lack of Sleep Schedule

Last week, I wrote about the sleep deprivation, the loss of both quantity and quality of sleep, that comes with being a parent.

Even after sleep training, even when they’re older, your sleep schedule gets shredded.

Today, I thought I’d share a timeline of the typical night in the Buried household, from when we put Detective Munch down to bed and from when he gets us up the next morning.

Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy night.

24 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Gender 5 comments

I Am the Hardest Working Dad in the World

I am the hardest working dad in the world. (Granted, I’m only a dad, so it’s a low bar, but my gender is not my fault. It’s GOD’s fault!)

You’re probably wondering what makes me, Dad and Buried, the hardest working dad in the world. Well, for starters, I have a ten-week-old baby and a five-year-old son and both of them are still alive!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

Dad and Buried

Tag: life

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

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Don’t Put Up, Shut Up

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