07 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 2 comments

Mobility is Overrated

We’re all so impressed by mobility these days.

Our favorite technology is all about portability and size and convenience. We have the Internet in our pockets, computers on our wrists, and borderline-Skynet in ridiculous eye-wear that makes Geordie La Forge look hip. All your computers are belong with us, all of the times.

I’m due for an iPhone upgrade this fall but I’m scared the 6 will be too big for my delicate BUT LARGE ENOUGH, LADIES! hands. This from a kid who grew up playing Oo Topos on a huge box monitor with a data tower bigger than my three-year-old. I haven’t had a desktop computer in around 15 years.

Until now.

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27 Jul

Dad and Buried Posted in stress 58 comments

Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate My Son

Having kids is not all it’s cracked up to be.

For one thing, you have a tiny human being in your house. This is almost as bizarre as having an animal in your house, but at least animals have fur.

All my son has is tons and tons of drool.

20 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 3 comments

Going Soft

Despite my best efforts, I think I’m going soft. My son is turning me into a wuss.

My wife likes to “joke” that I am a robot (I use quotes because she’s never laughing when she says it and I’m pretty sure it tears her up inside), or that I have no heart, because I never cry at commercials or movies or TV shows.

I like to think it’s because I’m not shallow and/or because my father raised me to believe that showing emotion was a sign of weakness (my father is John Wayne).

But having a child seems to be reducing my stoicism in uncomfortable ways. I’m beginning to care about people.

Toddlers are Crazy

My son is an anarchist. It’s not really his fault, since all toddlers are anarchists. But it’s just a stage he’s going through. I hope.

Maybe they’re not anarchists in the true sense of the word, since they aren’t so much about politics or even abolishing or ignoring rules; they don’t exactly grasp the concept of rules, so it might be a little unfair to label them that way. But it’s clear that they hate rules or boundaries of any kind, even if they can’t articulate why.

Regardless, living with an anarchist is hard work. And whether my son is technically an anarchist or just behaves like one, the end result is essentially the same: CHAOS.

Five Essential Baby Items

Having your first kid is not easy. Despite all the books and the advice, there’s really have no way of knowing what you’re getting into or what you’ll need to survive it all. Every parent gets a bunch of crap when they are having a kid, and a fair amount of it are things that they initially have no real idea what to do with – until they suddenly need to figure it out REAL QUICK.

It’s kind of like a computer game where you collect all sorts of random items you can’t fathom any use for, and then you get to a specific puzzle and it suddenly becomes clear that the only way to solve it is by using that jar of butt paste you somehow acquired way back when.

Dad and Buried

Tag: pop culture

Mobility is Overrated

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Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate My Son

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Going Soft

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Toddlers are Crazy

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Five Essential Baby Items

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