I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Parenting is not a competition. But that doesn’t stop some parents from treating it like one.
Last week I wrote a post about the self-loathing I felt upon stating my son’s age in months. The first comment I received was a joke about how I should get my son checked out because he’s not yet walking on his own.
At least I hope it was a joke.
All babies are created equal. Their parents are not.
Babies are little humans, slowly developing their own personalities and opinions and interests. As clean slates making their way toward self-realization, they deserve the benefit of the doubt and the unencumbered opportunity to reach their fullest potential.
Parents, however, have had their chance. They are adults (give or take every parent ever featured on MTV or VH1) who’ve they lived their lives and are what they are. At some point they decided (give or take every parent ever featured on MTV or VH1) to have a kid. Or two. Or 19. And now they have to live with that decision. They weren’t born parents, they became parents. They chose their lifestyle, they made their beds – and they deserve no quarter.
And no happiness.
Part 1 of the Only Child Condundrum dealt with the impact that having just one kid might have on that kid.
For Part 2, let’s forget about my son and his infinite potential for disappointing me for a minute. Instead, let’s talk about how having more than one kid might affect me and my wife.
Read more about The Only Child Conundrum, Part 2: Is It Selfish to Have Just One? …
I have a friend who is due to have his second kid any day now. I have several other friends who already have two kids, and another friend who is actively gunning for a third.
All this while my wife and I are sitting here, kinda-sorta feeling okay with just the one.
But is that okay with everyone else? More importantly, is it okay for our son? It’s the only child conundrum!
Read more about The Only Child Conundrum, Part 1: Just One Kid Is Alright. Right? …
You owe it to yourself to humiliate your children.
When they’re older they’ll do it to themselves, whether they like it or not. It’s totally inevitable that at some point in their lives our children will be the focus of widespread ridicule as the result of some embarrassing miscue, whether it’s accidentally going into the girls’ bathroom or clumsily tripping on stage as they reach for their diploma or someone filming a video of them when they’re so drunk their attempts at speech sound like Chewbacca making love to the Hulk.
It’ll happen. Just as it’s happened to all of us. Until it does, it’s your job. And it must be done.