September is a busy month for the Buried clan.
My birthday was last week, my son’s was yesterday, and my anniversary is today. Tomorrow, I file for bankruptcy!
There are two reasons this blog exists: my wife and my son, and they are interchangeable. There wouldn’t be one without the other. It’s like the chicken and the egg. Except obviously my wife had to come first. Otherwise I’d have a lot of explaining to do.
So while yesterday I celebrated my son, today I celebrate my wife. Actually, in November I celebrate my wife; on her birthday. But also today. And on Christmas. And Valentine’s Day. And Mother’s Day. And a few random days throughout the year when she doesn’t expect it because if you don’t do that women start complaining that the romance is gone and where is the passion and you used to try harder before we were married and let me stop this right now because I LOVE being married and here are six reasons (in honor of our sixth anniversary!) why.
Six Reasons I Like Being Married
Disclaimer: these reasons may not apply to your marriage, as you are not married to my wife, and she is something special.
- 1. Had you ever encountered me on the dating scene, you wouldn’t need five more reasons.
- 2. If I didn’t have Mom and Buried to help carry the parenting load, the name of this blog wouldn’t be a joke. I would literally be living underground, hiding from my son. Thankfully, she’s around to help, because she’s an incredible mom and not only couldn’t I do it without her, I wouldn’t want to. Shit’s HARD. Plus, it’s always nice to have someone else to blame.
- 3. My wife is aces at laundry and dishes and cleaning and all that other woman’s work. She’s also an amazing career woman who works her ass off to provide for us while I sit at home and ignore our son so I can post jokes on my blog, like that stuff about how good she is at “woman’s work.” Obviously I was joking. She sucks at doing dishes. But we’re married, and them’s the rules. Hooray!
- 4. Marriage is great, because life is much easier when someone loves you so much that you can just throw in the towel on self-maintenance. I have let myself GO. And it’s not like I was an Adonis when we met! But once the ink was dry on that marriage license, I was all: PASS THE DONUTS. I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not being a hypocrite. Mom and Buried doesn’t try anymore either, it’s just impossible to tell since she’s naturally gorgeous without any effort.
- 5. My kid may look a lot like me, but he wouldn’t exist without Mom and Buried, and despite our lack of morals and the fact we totally did it all the time before we got married (hey, it’s the 90s!), I highly doubt Detective Munch would be here if we hadn’t tied the knot, partially because we didn’t try any of that kinky, knot-tying stuff until after we made it official, and it’s always the kinky stuff that gets you pregnant.
- 6. My wife is the world’s best gift-giver. If we hadn’t gotten married, she’d be throwing someone else elaborate parties and giving them amazing presents. I couldn’t let that happen. I’m nothing if not selfish.
BONUS REASON: Waking up alone has its benefits, but waking up next to the love of your life every day isn’t bad either.
Happy anniversary, honey!