Celebrity Parenting Advice is Meaningless

Celebrity Parenting Advice is Meaningless

Taking celebrity advice is idiotic. Taking celebrity parenting advice is even worse.

I’m not gonna tell anyone to “shut up and dribble” or to stick to rapping, no matter how ridiculous their comments might be. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and if we’re gonna get mad that a famous person uses their platform to spout theirs, then maybe we shouldn’t have made that person famous to begin with. The fact is, getting parenting advice from almost anyone – other parents, your parents, non-parents, coworkers, that close-minded anti-Trumper with a dad blog – is one of the small tortures of this lifestyle.

But there’s something worse about celebrity parenting advice.

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

I have two kids now. I’ve never been more of an expert on what it takes to be exhausted and annoyed 24/7.

Which makes today the perfect time for another round of my unprofessional, ill-considered, potentially criminal parenting advice! (Check out all of the previous installments.)

And I actually got a handful of solid questions! Too solid, really. It was a struggle to make fun of them! It’s almost like you people are starting to take me seriously. STOP IT.

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What Would You Do Differently?

What Would You Do Differently?

I spend a lot of time railing against the idea of parenting “experts”. But everyone needs some advice once in a while.

Pretty soon, I’m going to have a new child upon whom all my hopes and dreams will rest. In order to ensure things go smoothly, I got some advice from fellow members of the dad blogger community.

Then I mocked it.

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12

Nobody wants my advice much these days. even though a highly respected and totally anonymous website I’ve never heard of just called me a cross between Louis C.K. and Homer Simpson, which may or may not be a compliment?

I used to run these columns fairly regularly, but now, even when I bang the drum for questions, I hardly get enough to fill the space. Which is a shame, because my advice is not only terrible and potentially damaging, it’s funny and potentially damaging. But without questions, I can offer no answers.

Thus, this may be the last edition of Parental Advisories. You have only yourselves to blame.

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