Last night, another season of “Game of Thrones” ended in bloody, punishing, somewhat dispiriting fashion. (Don’t worry, no spoilers here!) Of course, it’s nothing you’re not used to already if you’re a fan of the show.
Or if you’re a parent.
I’m not crazy enough to suggest that the experience of raising children is anywhere near as savage – or as sexy! – as the world of Westeros. But I am crazy enough to suggest that the experience of watching what may be the most popular show in the world has a lot of things in common with parenting.
Eleven things, to be precise…
Every time my wife and I show each other any kind of affection, Detective Munch comes bombing over to get in on the action.
He’s like Pepé Le Pew, if Pepé Le Pew were into incestuous threesomes. (Which: probably?)
He’s always butting in! I literally don’t remember what it’s like to have time alone.
A good friend of mine just had his first baby.
Yesterday, in honor of the happy occasion, I pumped the brakes on my signature snark and shared a rare cheesy post, about some of the the unexpected pleasures of fatherhood. Then I went home, told my son to stop doing something, and had this exchange:
“Because I said so!”
“That’s not a reason.”
Needless to say, today I’m back to my old self.
Everyone knows children get special treatment. We whine and complain about how annoying they are, frustrating they are, how stressful they are, and then when they actually do something worthy of punishment? We treat them more leniently than the NFL treats the Patriots.
We’re so blinded by stupid unconditional love that we give our kids more free passes than CVS gives coupons. Never is this glaring inequality more prominent than around the holidays.
Mother’s Day gifts are the perfect example.
According to the hourly reminders that someone set on my phone, Mother’s Day is this weekend. It’s the one solitary day all year long that anyone ever says anything nice about moms.
That last line there was a little bit of sarcasm. Because let’s face it, when it comes to parenting, moms already get all the praise.
Sure, that “praise” often calcifies into “being taken for granted,” which is just about complaint #1 from women everywhere (along with “I want more romance/passion!” and “socks go IN the hamper, not NEAR the hamper!”) but if you think about it, it’s a positive thing! Abilities and skills are only taken for granted once someone comes to rely on them. Kudos, moms everywhere! You’ve raised the bar for yourselves.
Unfortunately, that bar is just a little too high for your liking. So I’m going to level the playing field.