Paranormal Parenting Activity

Being a parent is scary, mostly because children are terrifying, and not just in that nightmarish “standing silently next to your bed in the middle of the night” kind of way…

All sorts of crazy, unpredictable, and unbelievable things happen when you have kids in your life. (You know what they say: Parenting is like a box of chocolates, NOT ALL OF THAT IS CHOCOLATE OMG DON’T EAT IT!)

Not all of it makes sense.

Having children upends your life in ways both small and profound, and every once in a while the things that happen can seem supernatural. Because once kids are involved, normal rules no longer apply.

I made a list of some of the strange happenings that occur when you’re a parent.

Paranormal Parenting Activity

  • Fruit appears in random places
  • The house you spent all day cleaning is somehow already filthy when you wake up the next morning
  • You ask your kid to do something and he actually does it
  • You ask your kid to do something and he actually does it the first time
  • The children transform into monsters after one night at Grandma’s
  • Your bank account disappears
  • The clothes your bought your kid that morning no longer fit him in the evening
  • Your kids speak in tongues (i.e., they talk about Minecraft and Ninjago and My Little Pony and fidget spinners)
  • Your kids speak in tongues and you understand them
  • There is food wedged into your kid’s car seat that you know you never actually gave him
  • Children go from toddler to teenager overnight
  • You age ten years every two weeks
  • The amount of alcohol in your house multiplies exponentially
  • Siblings get along for five minutes
  • You find LEGO pieces and other toys in places no child can reach
  • Whatever was left in the sippy cup that was under the front seat for two months is now alive and probably plotting to kill you
  • Every single pair of pants your son owns is ripped in the same exact spot
  • Your kid’s backpack is the new Bermuda Triangle, books, water bottles, toys, and shoes are constantly disappearing without a trace
  • Everything you did before you became a parent feels like something from a past life
  • There are miniature versions of you running around, terrorizing your home
  • You somehow haven’t gone insane…YET

Is there any paranormal parenting activity that scares you? Let me know on Facebook!

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