Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 6

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 6

It’s been a while since I’ve offered my uniquely unqualified parenting advice to my readers, mostly because no one asks e any questions. I can’t blame them; I’m a moron and some of this stuff could get you killed.

But there are a few submissions I haven’t gotten to yet – including one about the nightmare that is reading to your child – so I thought I’d handle them today. With any luck I’ll solve a problem or two! But probably not.

And remember, if you’re at the end of your rope and are willing to try anything, you can submit your questions here.

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Dadding Practice

Dadding Practice

Before he was even a twinkle in my eye, I had some ideas about what I wanted to teach my hypothetical son. Most of us do; without necessarily meaning to, we all take stock of what worked for us as kids, what we vow never to do as parents, what values we consider most important, etc. When you finally have children of your own, it’s a bit of a thrill to realize just how important you are to them, and how much influence you have over their development.

But my son is only two; it’s a bit early to tell him to always wear a rubber and when to double down. He needs to be able to swing off a tee before I can toss any real heat his way. But that doesn’t stop me from occasionally buzzing one by his ear.

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Parental Advisories: Solicitation Wednesday!

Parental Advisories: Solicitation Wednesday!

Can you do me a favor?

I know: What have I done for you lately? Nothing. And that’s not likely to change anytime soon. Not without your help!

A few months ago, I got so sick of only answering my wife’s questions incorrectly that I wanted to open my idiocy up to the rest of the world. So I started an advice column called “Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed!” because I have a thing for making irrelevant movie references.

Unfortunately, my advice was either so perfect that everyone’s problems were solved, or it was so terrible that no one else wanted to ask me anything. But I forgive you. And I’m giving you another chance.

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 5

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 5

I’m almost officially two years into my gig as a dad, and I think it’s pretty safe to say I am DOMINATING the category. If this were the Olympics I’d be like the U.S. Women, mostly that chick that shoots them skeets real good.

Seriously, three questions this week! My authority is being recognized!

(Recognize my authority at your own risk, right here.)

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