My Man Cold is Your Fault

On Sunday, I made a joke about the infamous man cold and it caused a little controversy on my Facebook page (give it a like!).

I posted a joke – FYI, that’s pretty much all I do on Facebook, it’s definitely all I do on Twitter, and it’s mostly all I do on here and also in real life – about the way Mom and Buried dotes on our son when he’s feeling a little bit under the weather, and I mentioned how it’s the opposite when I get sick. Instead of going maternal, she goes Medea (not the Tyler Perry character). The claws come out and all I hear is how I’m needy and whiny and need to ‘man up’ and etc.

Some of the women who read that post got a little huffy about it, but I stand by my original point: Women love taking care of their sick sons but hate taking care of their sick husbands. And they don’t realize they’re the problem.

sick, health, moms, maternal instinct, sick husbands, men when sick, parenting, parenthood, kids, children, toddlers, dads, funny, moms, motherhoodI love the way my wife takes care of my son. Seeing the way that she loves him, I’m surprised there’s any love left in the rest of the world. And while he’s at a troublesome age where our patience is consistently tested – if not our affection – we’re still far from the trials and tribulations of teenage-hood and the ability to gauge our son more as a real, almost-fully-rounded person and less as a cuddly bundle of our genetics. As such, he gets a pass.

He could be throwing The Fit to End All Fits, but if he sneaks a cough in there, her maternal-meter goes off and it’s snuggle-and-soup time.

I’m not knocking it; my mother did the same for me when I was growing up and also last week when I was home for Thanksgiving. That maternal instinct is one of the great things about having a woman in your life. My wife’s love for my son reminds me a lot of my mom and I’m going to end this sentence right now before I get myself into trouble.

The problem is that after growing up with such a great mom, I was predisposed to seek out a woman with similar characteristics and again this sentence is a week on the couch waiting to happen so I’m cutting it short. I’m just saying, if I wasn’t used to a receiving a certain level of service god I keep walking right into these. Let me cut to the chase.

STOP BABYING US WHEN WE’RE BABIES AND MAYBE WE WON’T EXPECT TO BE BABIED WHEN WE’RE MEN.

sick, health, moms, maternal instinct, sick husbands, men when sick, parenting, parenthood, kids, children, toddlers, dads, funny, moms, motherhoodJust because biology has infused women with greater instincts towards nurturing and protecting their loved ones (has it? Science was never my forte.) doesn’t make it our fault that we like it when you take care of us. You ladies set the precedent as moms and then expect us to go cold turkey as adults? NEVER!

(No, I can’t explain why women don’t become as pathetic as men when they’re sick but it’s probably because moms don’t love their daughters as much as they love their sons I’m just spit-balling here but I saw what happened to Mischa Barton in The Sixth Sense and remember at the top of this post when I said I’m always joking?)

Sure, maybe we men could make do with a little less whining and a little more powering through our man colds because we’re adults who can take care of ourselves and not helpless little children but sometimes a guy just wants to be tucked in and be spoon-fed some soup and put on a diaper and pretend to be an adorable little I’VE SAID TOO MUCH.


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10 thoughts on “My Man Cold is Your Fault

  1. As always, I got a good laugh out of this. My wife is similar, but we’ve come to a bit of a compromise so far as my sons are concerned. For whatever reason, I’m usually in charge of sickness confirmation. She’ll ask something like “does he feel hot”? If I think so, some babying may ensue; if not, it’s generally business as usual. It’s a bit odd, but it works.

  2. I thought the funniest moment was going to be…

    “My wife’s love for my son reminds me a lot of my mom and I’m going to end this sentence right now before I get myself into trouble.”

    But it continued into deeper territory and I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure my wife wasn’t reading along. I think I’m safe.

    Tough to tell a 3 yo son to “man up” when he’s sick, but the point seems valid based on the actions of grown up men when sick.

    I have a house of girls (4 by last count). Mom is great when they are sick, but not full on doting. I usually just give them the Heisman to avoid sickness myself, so that’s probably an indication of where the tough female comes from for the sickness thing.

  3. I love this. As one of those women, I love the humorous way that you share this truth.
    We do know what you mean when you compare us to your mothers but it is just so much fun to see how deep you can dig that hole while trying to get out of comparing us to your mothers.

  4. Loved this!

    My logic center started churning away… this may all be rationalizing BS, but my 2 cents:

    When adults are sick, we feel like crap, just like our kids. We want all our responsibilities to go away, just like our kids (granted, their responsibilities seem MUCH less to us, but they’re just as challenging to them as ours are to us).

    The only differences, to me, are these: one, kids have someone whose explicit JOB it is to take care of them, and two, no one suffers permanent damage when a KID blows off their responsibilities.

    That being said, when we adults are sick, we deserve care and sympathy. Just so long as the responsibilities of the carer and the caree are both still met. No one wants to hear whining and complaining, but for some it’s a legitimate coping mechanism, so when one of us whines about feeling crappy, it’s the OTHER one that needs to “man up” and dig for some sympathy to give.

    Shouldn’t be too hard; the other one isn’t sick and tired.

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  6. Let’s get to the crux of it. As an ADULT, we expect you to deal with being sick like we deal with being sick. Why is no one asking where the man is when his woman is registering 102.4 F and still cooking everyone dinner with her germ mask on?! But this article did make me laugh and feel less like I’m stranded on an island with whiny winds. 🙂

  7. Gosh…i m not married…but u knw u r so cute man…seriously…i loved d post…although couldnt relate to it much…but ur sense nd style of writing…enjoyed it a lot

  8. I am a married woman with no children. Though I am always there for my husband when he experiences illness I find that I am not the most sympathetic person. My issue is that he becomes very unpleasant and thinks that because he is not feeling well he is entitled to act like a jerk. I do not hesitate to tell him this and it never ends well.

    Yet, when I am ill I still go about my routine and chores(unless I am literally unable to get up and thank god that has never happened)and even hesitate to ask for him to bring me a glass of water or medication. I know that he would but I put on a brave face and do what has to be done.

    Moreover, I just read a horrid article discussing the fact that more married women are left (divorced) by their husbands when the woman is diagnosed with a serious illness. The belief being that men are not inclined to be care givers.

    I believe that having a caring partner is a privilege and not a right. Anyone, man or woman, who has a partner willing to take care of them during their worst times should keep this is mind even when they feel like poop.

  9. “Babe, you look terrible. You should be in bed. Let me feed and bath the kids and get them asleep by myself so you can get the rest you need … ” said my husband never. How about a little quid pro quo? t would be great to tuck in my husband when sick, but considering I already take care of him by taking over all reponsibilities so he can rest, which he doesn’t for me unless there is hospitalization or continuous vomitting on my part (he once interrupted me while vomittng to ask where my son’s shoes were), it seems pretty indulgent to also expect soup. Or how about, “I know it’s been a lot for you with this kids today and me down for the count, but could you get me some soup?” I’d be instinctively spoon feeding as described. But instead it is more an angry proclamation of “I’m sick!” In response to statements like, “Could you hand me that?” Or “Wow it’s a beautiful day.” Also, the kids are way less angry when sick. They are kind of cuddly and unaware or genuinely distressed. If this were true of my husband, maybe that instinct would kick in. Maybe he is. It’s hard to tell through the thick haze of anger and self pity.

    Ps-I did in fact make tea and ran out to his favorite Thai place and took the kids out so he could sleep, and still got snapped at for leaving the oven on. Anything sound familiar?

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