Fun Ways to Involve Your Kids in Valentine’s Day

Last year around this time, I wrote a fairly irrational post about Valentine’s Day, in which I questioned its prominence and the things it teaches children.

I must have woken up on the wrong side of my heart-shaped bed, because I don’t really care all that much about the holiday and its harmless traditions, and I don’t usually get carried away about things like that.

This year I’m making amends by embracing both Valentine’s Day and my son’s involvement in it.

I’ve made a list of fun ideas to get kids to fully embrace the greed and sexism for which the Feast of St. Valentine is known. Because if you can’t beat ’em, join em!

Fun Ways to Involve Your Kids in Valentine’s Day

  • Make heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast
  • Festoon your kid’s bedroom in images of naked, winged babies wielding deadly weapons
  • Enjoy a romantic, candle-lit snack time
  • Buy your daughter some lingerie
  • Help your kid shoot their cutest classmates with arrows to indicate desire and ownership
  • Take turns spooning each other during nap time
  • Bake penis-shaped cookies for a fun holiday-themed dessert!
  • Break open your son’s piggy bank and drag him out to buy jewelry and flowers for the object of his affection lest she start paying attention to someone else
  • Force-feed chocolate-covered strawberries to your little girl
  • Watch Fifty Shades of Grey together

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2 thoughts on “Fun Ways to Involve Your Kids in Valentine’s Day

  1. I’m sure my son would love the combined violence & boundary-destroying act of shooting his friends with arrows. He kissed a boy classmate 12 times during his class party yesterday, which made me real proud as the only gay dad in attendance.

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