The Not-So-Sweet Sixteen

Parenting has a lot in common with sports. Raising a child requires the energy and stamina of an athlete, the vigilance of a referee, the devotion of a die-hard fan and the patience of a coach.

Being a parent is basically like competing in a daily, year-long, rest-of-your-life tournament in which your endurance and your wits are constantly being tested, usually by someone much smaller who has to constantly be told what to do while even though they’re a lot more important than you.

Coincidentally, except for the fact that your kids go to college after you’ve (mostly) finished, instead of not really going to college at all (because the NCAA is corrupt!), parenting is a lot like March Madness.

Let’s count the ways…

16 Not So Sweet Ways Parenting is Like March Madness

  • Someone is always getting upset.
  • Entire weekends are spent watching other people play games.
  • You spend a bunch of money on something that immediately gets busted.
  • Surviving the day is mostly about luck.
  • There is an astonishing amount of noise.
  • You’ll probably end up seeing a Cinderella story. And maybe a Toy Story. Definitely Frozen.
  • No one wants to listen to you brag about how perfect your bracket/kid is.
  • Someone is always trying to steal someone else’s ball.
  • Proper deployment of time-outs is crucial.
  • You spend all day watching younger people run & jump around while adults scream at them.
  • When all is said and done, there’s a huge mess to clean up.
  • Grown men are often reduced to tears by the actions of children.
  • You always overestimate how great your team/kid is.
  • There’s an entire industry based on “experts” telling people what they’re doing wrong.
  • Everything you think you know becomes meaningless almost instantly.
  • Sometimes taking a desperation shot (or two) is the only way to make it to the next day.

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