Tomorrow is my birthday. (No gifts please, just Facebook likes. Trying to hit 10k!)
I don’t really worry much about my birthdays. Despite my steadily increasing amount of grey hairs and my steadily decreasing amount of all hairs (REVERSE JINX!), I’m not one to panic about my age. At least not yet. (Ask me again in two years, when I’m hitting 40.)
Of course, having a kid forces one to reevaluate the passage of time, and having a kid whose birthday is a mere six days after mine isn’t helping.
It’s almost like he’s chasing me.
Last night, on the eve of Detective Munch’s first full day of school (pre-K), Mom and Buried used “Pillow Talk Nightmare Hour” (that long-running show where she waits for my head to hit the pillow and then unleashes every stress and anxiety running through her head) to discuss her sadness that our son will suddenly be gone from the house all day long.
I reassured her that there are positives to it too: she’ll find it easier to get her work done; she’ll be screamed at less; she’ll be less stressed; more day-drinking; etc. But honestly, this whole “my child is getting older!” thing finally got to me a little.
Even though I’m at work during his school hours, it still kind of hit me that my son, at the age of four, will be out of the house, not to mention in someone else’s care, for the entire day. Pretty much non-stop for the next 15 years. It’s almost kind of bizarre, when you think about it, but so is the prospect of having to entertain and protect and teach a miniature human being with no skills and no filter and no self-control for 24 hours a day. (I’m not the home-schooling type, mostly because I don’t believe in God and I do believe in evolution.) Most of us probably need to hand the kid off to someone else every once in a while, but that doesn’t necessarily make the transition any easier.
We’re now entering the period where school becomes the driving force behind, and general measuring stick for, his development, growth and maturity, and there’s no turning back. Time keeps on ticking ticking ticking… into the future! (Consider that obnoxious ear-worm my birthday gift to YOU!) Maybe if we hold him back a few years, he’ll not only dominate school sports and be big man on campus (literally, and maybe only literally; in my day, being held back used to carry something of a social stigma), it will also allow us to keep him around a little bit longer.
As a fellow September baby who might have socially benefited from being red-shirted as a kid, the thought of holding my son back has crossed my mind once or twice, but not only is doing that in an attempt to prolong his childhood selfish and weird, it seems a little too close to programming his future. And I definitely don’t want to do that. Which leaves us with little recourse. Time marches on, and drags all of us with it.
In terms of my own slow decline into old age, corresponding (and intentional) heroin addiction and inevitable death, being able to measure the passage of time by what grade my son is in only makes my life seem to move even more quickly. Ever since he moved in, I’ve been measuring my age by my son’s.
Starting next year, when he enters kindergarten, I’ll be measuring my son’s age by his grade. And since my birthday, his birthday AND the new school year all hit in September? Gone are my days of hardly even remembering how old I’m turning (once you pass 35, nothing really matters but the big round numbers). Now, every time he starts a new grade, I’ll be reminded that not only is he growing up, I’m getting older too. So on top of making me look old (relax, the pic to the left was doctored with the Aging Booth app), now my son is making me feel old too.
I’m kind of starting to understand the impulse to track your kid’s age in months, despite my previous rants against it.
Measuring his age in smaller increments might help slow things down, at least a little. Right?
At least in my head?
Fine. It won’t help at all. Shut up!
35 is still really young, hell so is 40. Might not sound like it but when you are 45 and you realize 50 isn’t quite as old as you used to think well…
I’m 38! GET OFF ME!
Buck up D&B, it will be OK. Yes, having kids is like living with the timeline, you see them grow, you measure the passage of their time, which is also yours, but the good news is that by the time you’re sixty you won’t remember any of it anyway (and the kids will, hopefully, be headed toward supporting you). It’s a fun ride. Keep it simple. Don’t give up your music, and don’t get too mature. It’s not worth it.
Thanks! But I’m not all that upset. Just easier to notice when you have something to measure against, like your son’s disturbingly fast development. 😉
My oldest monkey entered 10th grade this morning. I was, granted, a young mother, but I completely relate to this! Also, day drinking is a huge plus.
Pingback: The Snuggle is Real - Dad and Buried
Pingback: Ten Things I Hate About Parenting - Dad and Buried
Cuum insxide xxx-projectWalking iin tthe rain nakedCouple fucking picturesThick ssxy
gils nakedLesbo tteacher movieDifferent stages
off vaginaSlende lesbiansBlaxk blachk hhoe hoe sexy sexyLaatex nursing brasCandice mmachile porn videoTeenn blopnde redtubeVintage matre sex tubesAppendijx ggay in prellude rhhyme science songPetedr iisland reskrt virgiin islandsBbbw galklery
hoot movieSpeculum strdtch cuntAdul mann iin diapers picAnal sex iin rioAsiann sluits cuum
pusesy moviesEotic loveliesIndian sex pornFasciculatiions thumbWebcams eroticGreat fim tits compilationNudee desperte houswife picFacal products available inXxx tube
hookerTeeen llesbian seex lubetubeVinage canister stickersSexy erinConom machine vendingYelkow hairy
caterpillarAmature teren fucksBikini eventt gallery photoTigyht teens frtee moviesHommade vvideo blowjobsThee woorld bigest penios
movies https://freexnxx.cc/aisle/amateur Freee xxxx carrtoon timeVntage
derringe handgunBreas implant massachusettsNeed tto mak peniks biggerAnuss stretched powered bby vbulletinWatchinhg amteur irl
gett fuckedSoioling aan aadult diaperFreee manga porno moviesHeentai pcc
game helpTgpp fusksr 95Mr snke xxxx videosYahjoo chuat gayAnalenna
jolie nakedBart fucking lisa sexx gameFeee xxx interrzcial storiesMothers teawching teens cum mpegBlack milf
threesomeSexx wwith his daughterNudde pictures off diana zubiriAdulpt daing serice older womenTinyy teen amateursGaay mariage
iin sweedenGayy luisty pokrn puppyGayy bareback porn reviewHigh grade vintageDaark eyes pornGarcelole njde playboy picturesAdultt drinking gme partySex kamasutra
freePuss squirtinbg cunjt ejaculation femaleBlack frede pictude pussyXxxx fdee porrn clipsGaay meetging
places nnew jerseyDestroy cockWoolitre actresss rug stick pornPorrn tory llane
fish netLesbian ashley paam storiesErros escorts polie sting 2011 westcoastSufden increas inn sex driveHoww mch does brewast tidsue weighTens squirting milkPenis collierLiina roay sexBreast woorship vidsLesbian cunt lickiing videosReed headed wmen fuckingCllege sexx
video ggirl onn girlT edotic reviewYipee kayee mother
fuckerHard fucked wifeMale male femaile mastrbation fantasyAsiann mmen lovesAmature
women srip fightPorn bloack gayy twinksGayy ebony porno
Annti gay ati blackAdhlt barr entertainmentLesbbian stra on tubeVeryy ttiny een stockingsPerformance
parts forr 2000 fird escortBigg clothed cockk sucking womanSaandra modeel nude torrentsDog’s vatina swollenEsscort service inn oor neqr trentonReasons womes sex drtive lowersAdlt indioan pussyFrree
fulpl lenngth olld wmen pornJune 09 slashdot media virtgin freedomBikini galery forumMasss effct consort ssex cutsceneSluttyy cock fucking hawrdcore orgasmsFree colleve ssex pafties videosMsrry kste
annd ashlket titsRussian mmom and soon analTinny cuties huge cockFreee hentai
anime gif image galleriesMale masterbstor pornMoster titt cumshotBdsm mrie paddlee clamp storyAsss eminem shake hat youtubeCliip fuckiing sexy show videoAmazimg bikinni sexCalll blockijg oon virfgin mobileTeenn
porn tortureOsloo strip clubsLori licksDalla seex storeMtuer wives flashing pussyHidde hommemade fuckConflicts inn interracial relationshipsFirsttime homemade addult
filmMarure porn stasr ffor hireUndoo bufton condomBraazil carnial cli nude9 adult
escort exoltic travelBrian pumprr xxxMeesa asian massageWivees biig diick storyFakee ceelebrity udes archuve freeSleepng nue greenn canadaTeeen slut seduceNaaked teen gilrMy wiife loves blsck
dicksPeachwz nude powered by phpbbCartkon giant dickJoonn mali pussySharonn kzne don’t cumJennifer weisinger naked https://xnxxgo.cc/line/blowjob Buttedfly wingss ftom pantyhoseDelaware
seex offenser websiteBreaswt indian liftPorrn fee samples wimdow mediaSheder linverie foor big girlsJumpp stripHardcoore ssex
splanking fucking videoAian peesing videosAnekee gallry vidxeo tis boobsGayy kwazuluTeenns get hugfe dickBlzkc pornDarlimg
nkki xxxDouble chicken brfeast sandwichAsiwn influencedReal vifgin pusy moviesGirls 34 boobsVintage cchevrolet tennesseeAmyy yasbeck nude
picturesMy duck byy redd foxxWomen diiscussion penis sizeSexx iin sevenoaksSexxy volleyball picturesGayy datig west virginiaCassandr and transgenderAntti viral facizl tissueTeens fhck on trainGangster gamgbang pornEscort tvv tts laas vegasVintage uttc catalogWwww rated porn blackk
girlsEriin nicole ude picsSavannawh hhotel sexyLesbian categoorized tubesWeeb seecurity penerration testingProtection during
beginningg anal sexNaked guy playing wuth thefe selfAdulkt online chat