20 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Blogging 10 comments

10 Ways Having Kids is Like Writing a List About Things That Are Like Having Kids

I’ve been writing a lot of lists lately.

As a result, my friend at AskYourDadBlog – a far nicer, far more successful, far more irritating outfit – thought he’d be clever and insult my recent rash of list-making by suggesting a new one, called “10 Ways Having Kids is Like Writing a List About Things That Are Like Having Kids.”

Joke’s on him though, because I DID it. And it’s glorious. And it fills me with (more) self-loathing.

05 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline No comments

Emotionally Unable

Children are surprisingly intelligent and perceptive. Except when they’re not.

My son knows to lie to get what he wants, he knows how to push our buttons to piss us off, he knows how to work my iPhone and he knows I didn’t really steal his nose. I bet yours is the same way; kids are always smarter than you expect. And yet despite their mad skills, when it comes to emotional intelligence they are total morons.

Mine still can’t figure out when an emotional breakdown is warranted (never) and when one isn’t (when your banana breaks).

Fanning the Flames?

Now that I have a car (stupid North Carolina), I find myself listening to the radio more than I have in years. Of course, the radio is terrible. So I throw on sports talk.

Which is also terrible, especially local sports radio. But the national shows, like ESPN’s morning shows and a few others, are tolerable. This morning, I heard Dan Patrick tell a story about how, one day during the 2004 playoffs, some of his son’s classmates – Yankees fans – pissed on the kid’s Red Sox hat.

Suddenly I’ve started questioning the way I’ve been indoctrinating my son into fandom.

Parents Are The Worst

Parents are the worst. Actually, politicians are probably the worst. And other people’s kids suck pretty bad too. And Nazis.

In fact, I changed my mind. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Nazis are really the worst.

But parents still suck pretty bad. I knew it before I had a kid and it’s become even more apparent since I’ve joined their ranks.

Here are some of the reasons why.

Read more about Parents Are The Worst …

11 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 8 comments

Can You Be Happy Without Kids?

As a world-famous blogger who hates his kid and once mentioned Bronies, I get A LOT of weird spam. Most of it regarding my penis.

Sometimes I actually get asked advice, and sometimes I get yelled at; sometimes I get praise, and sometimes an old teacher from high school reaches out to say hi. (Most of the time I get yelled at.)

Yesterday, I got an email that I initially thought was spam. I’m still not positive it’s not. Just in case, I’m responding to a reader who wants to know if she can be happy without kids.

Dad and Buried

Category: Drinking

10 Ways Having Kids is Like Writing a List About Things That Are Like Having Kids

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Emotionally Unable

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Fanning the Flames?

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Parents Are The Worst

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Can You Be Happy Without Kids?

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