Over the weekend, professional golfer Rory McIlroy won the Open Championship. In the process he netted $1.66 million.

His father, meanwhile, scored big himself, having placed a bet in 2005 that his son would win the Open Championship by 2015. Daddy McIlroy collected (approximately) $171,000 merely for having confidence in his son’s golfing ability.

Which got me thinking…

What would I bet on my own son to accomplish within the next 10 years?

Mr. McIlroy made that bet when his son was 15; the wager wasn’t all that far-fetched. After all, Rory had already shown his talent for golfing, and he’d be in his mid-twenties by the time the deadline was to land.

Placing bets on a toddler’s future accomplishments is a much dicier proposition. Detective Munch is only three, and thus far has mostly shown a talent for talking a lot without stopping. Undeniably impressive, but I’m not sure there are too many long-term prospects in that field. At least not until Skip Bayless retires!

And yet, after observing my son for the past almost-four years, there are some things I might take a chance on.

Things I’m Almost Willing to Bet Money That My Son Will Do Sometime Within Over the Course of the Next 10 Years

• Give me a heart attack
• Break my iPhone or computer or TV
• Write the next great American novel
• Break a limb
• Cost me over $100,000 in food and clothing
• Say “No!” over 100,000 times
• Get told “No!” over 100,000 times
• Ignore me
• Create a million-dollar iPhone app
• Ask for a puppy
• Swear in class
• Be better at technology than I am
• Like music I can’t stand
• Ignore me
• Require me to buy ‘Just for Men’
• Dunk a basketball
• Accidentally lock himself in the bathroom
• Become obsessed with an excruciatingly annoying TV show or movie
• Piss someone off on a flight
• Piss me off at a restaurant
• Learn to ride a bike
• Fall off a bike
• Learn to get back on a bike after falling off of it
• Learn to surf
• Learn to surf for porn
• Squirm uncomfortably while I give him a bizarre, painfully naive and out-of-touch talk on the birds and the bees that may or may not reference Jamie Lee Curtis and Machine from 8MM
• Ignore me
• Crush Daddy’s genitals so many times he is neither able to nor interested in having more children
• Dress like an asshole
• Have a mishap when attempting to cut and/or style his own hair
• Get in trouble
• Ignore me
• Make Mommy cry (in a bad way)
• Make Mommy cry (in a good way)
• Win the Open Championship
• Witness the Dolphins win a Super Bowl
• Make me sick
• Get sick on me
• Ignore me
• Actually follow my advice and thank me for listening
• Make me proud
• Sing a song about poop

A few of those may be wishful thinking (Tannehill MVP!) but you gotta dream big. Anything is possible when your own self-confidence is matched by your parents’ belief in you.

After McIlroy hoisted the tournament’s Claret Jug, he told reporters, “”No, I never had doubts,” he said. “You can’t doubt your own ability.”

I feel like that’s something my son might say after cannon-balling onto my crotch for the 239th consecutive day. But I wouldn’t bet on it.