I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

Father’s Day is coming up (as if you didn’t know, you sly minx!) and Mom and Buried keeps asking me what I want. I keep telling her that I don’t want any Father’s Day gifts.

Which is true, I don’t want anything. Why not? Well, it’s certainly not because “I have two beautiful kids and an amazing wife and that’s everything I need” because give me a break!

Here are some reasons I don’t want any Father’s Day gifts.

Why I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

  • Giving me gifts requires waking me up. DO NOT WAKE ME UP. NOT ON FATHER’S DAY OR EVER AGAIN. I’M NOT JOKING. I’M TIRED. I WISH I WERE IN A COMA RIGHT NOW.
  • I’ll just end up returning everything – we need the money to pay for camp!
  • The only gifts I want are unattainable, unless you have a time machine, a magic debt eraser, or know a free nanny.
  • I’m concerned that if we add one more item to the house, it will explode.
  • I’m just never going to get around using a homebrew kit, honey. I’m sorry. I love beer, but I’m totally fine with the already-made-by-professionals kind.
  • Why bother buying me some cool new gadget when the kids will just break it immediately?
  • I’d rather spend the money on something we can do together; I’ve never been one to take the “father” part out of celebrating “Father’s Day.” But feel free to take the kids out of it, and go to the playground while I nap. Totally your call.
  • I know he means well but I don’t want the kid’s shitty artwork. The family portrait he drew for me last Father’s Day still gives me nightmares!
  • I don’t really care about Father’s Day.

Of course, none of this is to say I won’t accept Father’s Day gifts! You can make the check out to Dad and Buried. Thanks!


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One thought on “I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

  1. Omg yes! Just let me sleep in! My hubs and I do that stuff all the time. It’s seriously the best gift ever!!!! I did buy my hubs a new pair of flip flops cuz it’s summer and he needed them. But that’s it!! No gifts. Just take the kids and leave me in peace and quiet.

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