Hello again, Mom and Buried here! Remember me?
It’s been too long. I would have loved to have written sooner, but you know, I’ve been busy BUILDING A HUMAN IN MY UTERUS, luxuriating in the pleasures and joys of pregnancy and childbirth, and raising said human to be the adorable (and not-at-all-exhausting) toddler he is today.
And I think I got another kid too around here somewhere. And also a husband, the infamous Dad and Buried.
So let’s just say three – I’ve been busy raising THREE children. But I digress…
I last popped up here in 2014 with the aptly named “Five Most Annoying Things about Dad and Buried.” Now that it’s Father’s Day again, and I’ve had three years to come up with enough bullet points, I thought I would follow up with a companion piece.
Five Things I Love About Dad and Buried
- His Love of the Drink
I realize in many marriages, this could, nay, SHOULD, be grounds for divorce. But we’ve managed to strike just the right balance and there’s really no one else with whom I’d rather go brewery-hopping, wine-tasting, or vodka-chugging. At the end of a long, exhausting day with the kiddos, he’s easily my favorite person to sit on opposite ends of the couch and raise a glass with while staring silently at the TV screen as we attempt to stay up for 45 minutes of a 2 ½ hour movie. (side note: What kind of sick bastard makes a 2 ½ hour movie? NOT A PARENT, I assure you!)
- He’s the Yin to My Yang
I always want to go, go, go… he always wants to sit, sit, sit. I’m the one that will drag him someplace he’d rather not be caught dead at only to find it’s not so bad after all. The one that makes him ride mechanical bulls, take ill-advised road trips on precarious roads in foreign countries, and dress in humiliating costumes, much to the delight of Detective Munch. He’s the one that makes me slow down, to realize “expectation is the root of all disappointment” when it comes to lofty vacation (and sometimes life) goals, and forces me to declare a perfectly sunny Sunday “Movie Day” and spend the entire day in PJs (secretly enjoying) cuddling with my favorite guys.
- He’s a Good Partner
I mean, not in the way that we split household duties or anything. GOD NO. Dude will leave crap on every available surface around the house until the production crew of HOARDERS shows up at your door. When he washes the dishes, it appears to be a seven-step process that has at least three stages of “Letting it soak” and I’m pretty sure there are MORE crumbs on the floor after he vacuums than when he began. And OH MY GOD, what’s with all the socks everywhere!? Plus… Wait. Hold on. Where was I going with this? Ah yes, he’s a good LIFE partner. That should clarify it. He’s always in my corner whether he’s supporting what I want out of life or just making sure I don’t miss my much-needed monthly wine (I mean, BOOK) club meetings. And if I do have to miss, like I said above, he will DRINK HIS FACE OFF with me to make up for it. He’s selfless that way.
- He’s a Great Dad
Sure, sometimes I think he might be a little too tough on the six year-old and we might not always agree on every approach when it comes to parenting, but he loves the shit out the little bastards, no matter what he says otherwise. You can see the pride in his eyes when the Detective hits a home-run, even if it took 45 minutes of gritted teeth as he coerced him into playing in the first place. And it’s downright EMBARRASSING how obsessed he is the Hammer. That cute little devil has him wrapped around his finger and OH MY GOD he’s SO IN FOR IT in a couple short years when he’s a threenager, four AF, and so on. Ah, that’s gonna be fun. (read: SEND ME ALL THE BOOZE!)
- He’s Him
He’s a smart-ass. He’s pretty freaking smart. He’s funny as heck. He’s infuriating as hell. Take him or leave him, one thing you cannot say about Dad and Buried is that he’s anyone else BUT Dad and Buried. TO A FAULT! But I respect that. Most days.
- His Love of the Drink
Well, shit. When I started writing this I thought it would be MUCH funnier. My apologies. I guess I love him more than I let on sometimes. And I guess he deserves to hear that stuff too. JUST THIS ONCE.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad and Buried!
Mom and Buried
P.S. This is all I got you. No, seriously. Blame your children.