Sleeping on the Couch

I am not ashamed to admit that I sleep on the couch sometimes, and it’s not always because Mom and Buried is mad at me!

Sometimes it’s because I’M mad at HER! How about THAT?!

Most of the time, though, I sleep on the couch because it’s the nice thing to do…

Don’t judge, but every now and again, Detective Munch sleeps in our bed.

He claims he likes our bed because it’s bigger, and more comfy, and has better blankets, all of which are true, but I’m pretty sure it’s mostly because he loves his mom so much and wants to sleep near her. He may already be eight but he’s also *only* eight. It won’t be long before he has zero interest in looking at us, let alone snuggling with us, so forgive us if we don’t feel that guilty about our occasional stowaway.

That said, we usually prevent him from crashing in our room because, as any parent knows: co-sleeping is a misnomer. When there are kids in your bed, there isn’t much sleeping going on at all.

At least not for Mom and Dad. And especially not for Mom and Buried.

As you may already know, Mom and Buried has multiple sclerosis, which often causes her to have trouble sleeping, with or without a co-sleeper in the mix. When my son does join us, I usually bow out in the hopes that she gets the sleep she needs.

(I don’t care about HIS sleep; not only does he function just fine on three hours, somehow, he also deserves to sleep poorly, the bed-stealing jerk!)

parenting, parenthood, moms, dads, children, family, kids, fatherhood, funny, humor, negotiatorMom and Buried insists I don’t have to leave the room and sleep on the couch. That we can manage. And sometimes I stay, and we do. Barely.

But the fact is, he’s big enough now that even our king-sized bed is pushed to its limit with the three of us in it, and I’m the expendable one. Which is fine. I’m used to being the least favorite parent. And I’m willing to take the bullet for my wife.

Of course, my self-imposed exile is not entirely selfless. I’m a better sleeper in general, and without a kid kicking me all night, I have better odds of a good night’s sleep on the couch myself. But I know it’s better for her if she has more space, and giving her a little extra is the least I can do. When it comes to parenting and marriage, you’ve got to make sacrifices!

Am I a hero? That’s not for me to say. But probably.

Besides, when my son climbs into our bed and I don’t leave for the couch on my own? She might get mad and kick me there anyway. Gotta be proactive!


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