I don’t believe in astrology. That’s probably because I’m a Virgo.
I’m sick of looking at stupid fortunes based on whether your folks got it on on New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s, or Bastille Day. They are vague to the point of meaninglessness. But I guess they can be kind of fun, like fortune cookies.
I just wish they were more specific to my role as a parent.
So I made some “Horoscopes for Parents” that are tailored to your lifestyle, as the caretaker to one or more exhausting and infuriating miniature versions of you.
Fair warning: these aren’t legit in any way, which makes them as legit as any other horoscopes! I hope, for your sake, Mercury is in retrograde. Or not. I have literally ZERO IDEA what that means.